After writing my last post, I started having some issues with cartooning and writing. Author Patrick Rothfuss (Name of the Wind) is anti-writer's block and is a firm believer that it doesn't exist. I do think that there are times when someone can't think of anything to write. But then again, my writer's block is a manifestation of self-censorship and depression, and therefore I find reasons not to write.
I think the self-censorship is informed by many, many things, including my natural shyness, my religious upbringing, and those goddamn public relations courses in college. Oh, there's also the fact that some of my family members read my blog. Hi, guys! Hope you enjoyed that part where I broke that Commandment.
Here's what happens: I find out that people I know are reading my blog. I get wary of their opinions of me and I immediately censor myself. When I censor myself, I get frustrated with my work. And--boom!--writer's block. After that--bang!--depression. I feel as if I can't express myself without hurting someone's feelings, yet I get upset because I can't think of anything to write. And then I start weeping because I think everyone hates my work and I let them down when I don't post.
Let me say that again. I start weeping because I think everyone will hate my work and I let them down when I don't post. Because of this, I'm spending weeks getting stuck in a cycle of anti-production, self-loathing and pure crazy, begging my poor Husband to buy multiple pints of Ben and Jerry's for me.
Needless to say, I'm feeling a bit better now.
Where do we go from here? Well, I re-read my own About Me page because that's a good start for everything. And I noticed that I have only lived up to about half of that.
So, I say fuck it. From now on, I'm going to write what I want to write. Don't worry, I'll still have some adorable, silly things to say. It's just that this tender rabbit is going to have more bite to her... very similar to the killer bunny in The Search for the Holy Grail.
Yep... things are looking up from here.
I think the self-censorship is informed by many, many things, including my natural shyness, my religious upbringing, and those goddamn public relations courses in college. Oh, there's also the fact that some of my family members read my blog. Hi, guys! Hope you enjoyed that part where I broke that Commandment.
Here's what happens: I find out that people I know are reading my blog. I get wary of their opinions of me and I immediately censor myself. When I censor myself, I get frustrated with my work. And--boom!--writer's block. After that--bang!--depression. I feel as if I can't express myself without hurting someone's feelings, yet I get upset because I can't think of anything to write. And then I start weeping because I think everyone hates my work and I let them down when I don't post.
Let me say that again. I start weeping because I think everyone will hate my work and I let them down when I don't post. Because of this, I'm spending weeks getting stuck in a cycle of anti-production, self-loathing and pure crazy, begging my poor Husband to buy multiple pints of Ben and Jerry's for me.
Needless to say, I'm feeling a bit better now.
Where do we go from here? Well, I re-read my own About Me page because that's a good start for everything. And I noticed that I have only lived up to about half of that.
So, I say fuck it. From now on, I'm going to write what I want to write. Don't worry, I'll still have some adorable, silly things to say. It's just that this tender rabbit is going to have more bite to her... very similar to the killer bunny in The Search for the Holy Grail.
Yep... things are looking up from here.
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| NOTE: Not a real text. Although, I'm taking bets about what the real one is going to be. |
2 comments:
I hear Phish Food is good for writer's block. ;)
@Mer ...oh no... I have even more writer's block. I need to call my Husband to buy Phish Food. ;)
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